I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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