so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
