I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
