I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
