Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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