I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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