roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
