All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
