Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Acid is not a monday night drug
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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