No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
