Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
