awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
