Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
