Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
