i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
