Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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