ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
