I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
