And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
