oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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