Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
