You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
