I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
