just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
