she was so not down for the gang bang
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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