I feel like I'm in dance class right now
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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