the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
