Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
