and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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