who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
