i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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