saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
