I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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