2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
