Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
