so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
