so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
