So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
