I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
