When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
