Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
