You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
