im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
