like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
