Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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