Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
