he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
