Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
