Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
