when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
