Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
