He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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