Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
